apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
