I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
this is an emotional support booty call
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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