making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
