Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can text with my tongue
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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