from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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