i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
