You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
