just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
