At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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