u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
