The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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