Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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