he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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