best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
