Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you will always have a special place in my vag
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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