I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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