In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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