Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize