I want to have your abortion
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
