Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize