I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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