he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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