Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I love you.
Bad choice
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
