I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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