drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
