Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
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