I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
