nut hugger
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize