I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
