Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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