jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
