We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Randomize
