By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
