I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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