i barfeds in our rink
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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