i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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