sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
