I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He better not be in your backpack
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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