I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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