"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
