Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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