He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
