nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
