I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
