Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Life without a bra equals bliss.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
