Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
