He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
