shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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