Where are you?
In a non slutty way
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
