I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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