he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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