I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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