Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
