Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
