some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
