Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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