At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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