I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
