i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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