He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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