Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
