cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
