I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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